The Best Revenge

The best revenge is self love. The best revenge is working on yourself. Forget about getting even, forget about making them regret the day they hurt you. Let karma handle that, just focus on becoming a better version of yourself. The best revenge is not caring what other people think; not letting their actions affect you, not seeing yourself through their eyes, not trying so hard to impress them and learning that they’re not superior just because they have things that you don’t have. The best revenge is learning to let go rather than hold on. Letting go is truly liberating and it shows you have faith in God. Sometimes when we don’t feel good about ourselves, we hold on to things that could sabotage our happiness or people who don’t really value us or love us. But when you learn how to let go of situations or people who are making it more difficult than it should be, it means that you’ve reached a healthy level of self-love because you’re letting go even though you don’t have any backup, you don’t know what’s next but you’re not afraid. You feel like God is looking out for you, you’re confident in your abilities to stat over or find someone better. You have learned how to be strong, courageous and not afraid of the unknown. You know that you can handle whatever comes your way. The best revenge is loving who you are now until you become the person you want to be. Loving your imperfect self. Learning from your mistakes. Knowing that you’re not defined by them or by your past. Loving your journey with its ups and downs. Learning that everyone who couldn’t love you is also fighting their own battles and confused about their own journey. Believing that you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be and focusing on making the best out of the life you’ve been given instead of hating yourself for not living the life you want to live. The best revenge is learning how to be content and happy, even if the odds are against you.

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To the People Who Have Let Me Down,

At first, I was hurt. I was angry. I was bitter but then I became grateful because when you let me down, you made me change my life. Thank you for taking your love away from me. Thank you for not telling me things I needed to hear to love myself. Thank you for not showering me with the love and support I needed to thrive. Thank you for constantly reminding me that I’ll never find love in your arms because you forced me to fight for another kind of live. You forced me to love myself without your help and you forced me to look for the kind of love you never had, the kind of love you never knew. You made me realize that all you knew was a hostile kind of love. The kind of love that hurts and offends people. The kind of love that keeps score. The kind of love that turns into a war of who cares less, who’s always wrong and who can lose faster. Thank you for showing what kind of love I really don’t need in my life. Thank you for letting me down. Thank you for leaving. Thank you for the hurt, for the confusion. You forced me to upgrade. You forced me to find myself. You forced me to find better and more loving people and you forced me to find a better life. A life where I don’t have to be condemned for being human, for making mistakes, for learning or for growing up. A life where I can be myself and still feel safe. A life where speaking up doesn’t cost you. A life where love is freely given without any tears, bruises, or injuries. A life, where I am happy. A life where I have finally stopped settling for the things I do not deserve.

Being the Backup Plan

Never settle for someone who treats you like a backup plan. Someone who puts you second instead of making you a first priority. Never settle for someone who picks and chooses when to answer your texts. Someone who makes you wait for a reply. Never settle for someone who tells you how much you mean to them, but never proves it. Someone who says all of the right things, but never does the right things. You should never be a part of the background. And afterthought. You should be the first and only person they think about when they wake up in the morning. You should be the person they can’t wait to see, the person they’re eager to text back. Wait for someone who shows up on time. Someone who follows through on their promises. Wait for someone who calls you up to deliver good news, because you’re the first person they thought of telling. Someone who makes an effort to include you in their life. Wait for someone who has an actual interest in what you have to say, not someone who wants you to be quiet so they can talk about their day. Not someone who is secretly thinking about other things while you speak. Wait for someone who makes it clear they care about you and they’re willing to commit to you. Someone who lets their friends, parents, and Facebook friends know that you are their person, forever and always. Please, never settle for someone who puts you second, because you deserve to be a first priority.

Date Someone That Treats You Like Shit (Actually)

You should date someone that treats you terribly. Who treats you the way that makes all your friends wonder what the hell you are thinking. Find someone that treats you like shit/ Find someone who never texts you back and always lets you initiate plans. Find someone who uses you and can never seem to be there when you actually need them. Be with someone that doesn’t care about your needs, ambitions or your thoughts. Find someone that disappoints you repeatedly and never says sorry. Find someone that doesn’t care. And then date them and justify why you are the only one who gets them, who knows who they really are. Pretend like everything’s fine. Convince yourself that you can change their habits. Convince yourself that you can change them. Believe that if you stick around, they will like you even more for always being there when they weren’t the person you needed them to be. Date them even when you probably shouldn’t. And then get your heart broken. Be devastated by it, by them. Sit there, holding yourself together and wonder what you did wrong. Blame yourself for their issues. Blame yourself for why they treated you like shit. Date someone that treats you like shit. Because when you date someone that treats you like shit, you will realize how you actually want to be treated.

The “Other Girl”

Tall and blonde were the two things I felt like I needed to be for me to have more attention from him instead of her getting it all. When I found out about the other girl I cried so hard I puked for two days straight. It hurt. It hurt badly. I couldn’t tell her about him and I because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings even though mine were already hurt. The night of the show at Skyway I cried until I couldn’t breathe when I found out he went with her instead of me. I wore my heart on my sleeve for him and all he did was make me regret every second of it. I now can’t see him and pretend like he didn’t hurt me when he gave her attention. I can’t pretend like it doesn’t bother me every time I see him and think he picked her over me. There were more days than I can count that I wondered why I wasn’t good enough. There were more days than I can count that I wondered if I could even find the strength to get out of bed. Because the thing is I’ve never been someone’s first choice. I’m always their backup plan. I’m never the person someone makes plans with first, I’m someone they make plans with after their first plans fall through. I tried really hard and I learned no matter how much you try some people will never be satisfied. I’ve also learned that usually the best people are ones that come as a surprise. But the best people also continue to surprise you. Through all the hurt and pain he gave me some of the best moments of my life. He didn’t fit into my neat pre-packaged plan. It was mess and inconvenient at times. I never want to forget him but forgiving him will take a long time. He told me he really liked me, he got my hopes up. He wrote “u r cute” on my front window and ever since I haven’t touched it when I clean my car and that’s all I need to look at when I’m having a bad day.

To Be Completely Honest

To be completely honest, sometimes life just sucks. Sometimes we don’t know if we’ll make it through. Sometimes we don’t know where we are headed or the “why” behind our circumstances. Sometimes our hearts break. Sometimes we lose people we love and our worlds are left in pieces. Sometimes we feel helpless. Sometimes we’re scared. Sometimes we don’t want to open our eyes when we hear that alarm clock go off. But here’s the thing, today you did. Today you opened your eyes. Today you shrugged out of bed. Today you took a breath, you steped forward, and you continued. And that’s what’s truly admireable. And I know it’s hard. Moving forward was damn hard. But you did it. You continued. And so, today, I only hope for one thing: I hope that you learn to laugh. I know your days are tough. I know you believe in goodness, because goodness had failed you time and time again. I know you ache, I know. But I hope you learn to laugh today. And I hope you laugh until it doesn’t hurt as much. Until you forget. And I hope that laughter gives you strength. Because believe me when I say that you are powerful. Believe me when I say you can do this. 

If You’re Reading This…

If you’re reading this and you’re not happy right now, you will be. I don’t know what you’re going through. Everyone has their own type of darkness that they are trying to make sense of, but no matter how dark it gets, you’ll do it. Life gets better, you’ll get better. Life will become brighter, and you’ll look back on days like these when you couldn’t look forward to the next hour, let alone the next day. When you do, you’ll smile, maybe even laugh, and it will hit you. You turned out just fine.