I look at him more than he is currently, because to me he is everything. Everything I have ever wanted, but mostly because he treats me as though I matter. As though my opinions and everything I want is important to him too, and that is what love is. I can not tell him that I love him. I can not tell him every single night before I go to sleep I think about him. When people ask me if I am in love with him I tell them no. Because I do not want to be the cause of losing him. Even though we mean so much to each other, it does not mean we need to be together. That is when the lines of loving someone and being in love with someone are blurred. And my lines with him are so blurry. I can not even tell him what is going on in my mind or heart because I do not know. So our future looks like this. We keep things the way that they are. Because even though I want to love him, I am nowhere near ready to do so. And while I am taking my time to get ready to love him, he may find someone else. He might meet them and love them more then he could ever love me. And they will love you just as much. Because you are that person, the person that people fall for immediately. And if we ever did cross paths as lovers instead of friends, I know that I would not need anyone else but him. He is the ultimate. He would be my ultimate. So maybe we will end up together or maybe we will not but all I know is this; as long as he exists in my world, I will be happy. No matter what capacity.
Mackenzie Caitlin 