Find someone that accepts the fact you are a sports person, someone that will know when you train and will not care that you are gone for a few hours a day to do what you love and what you wake up for. Find someone that will help you through the ups and downs of being an athlete because there will be a day when you are not one and all you have is team photos, medals, and stuff to your name and you will want to remember everything in a good way; every hard training session, every new play book, every competition, all the blood and sweat you put in, and all the tears you had over your sport. You need to remember all of that happily and if someone tells you “oh you train too much for your sport” or “oh your sport means more to you than me,” here is what you say: “My sport was here for me before you, my team is my family. No my sport is not more important to me than you… it is as important, because no matter what happens there will always be a gym, field, track, or pool for me to go to.” If your girl or guy does not accept your sport and the fact that you are an athlete do not bother trying because no matter the circumstances or how hard you try they will always think that your sport is more important then them and guess what if they hate your sport fuck them hell yes your sport is more important then them but only if they do not care about what you love! You are an athlete. Amateurs, semi-pro, or pro it does not matter. Live through every injury and every person who ever said that you could not do it. Go on to succeed and find someone who loves to be with you at training, who will come to every game or competition because that is what it is to be an athlete, and be with someone who really cares for you and the fact that you love your sport. One day day soon all you will have is memory of where you came and what you did.
Sorry for the lack of posts this month! For the month of October there will be one up EVERY SINGLE DAY!!! Depending on how well it goes will determine if it follows into the following months. I am only promising October for now so keep your eyes open in October for a new post every day!
You were a bittersweet fairytail with a grey ending. You were my hamartia, my tragity, my addiction. Frankly, you were also the only ray of sunlight that existed in my aphotic world. You consumed every existing part of my soul; the parts you brought to life. And then you left, leaving me with the crippled remains.
Depression is not always sadness. It is also feeling numb at 3am but smiling and laughing with friends at 3pm. It is also not being able to get out of bed even though you were fine the day before. It is also not eating because you are not hungry or can not be bothered, but also over eating because you are bored and feel empty. It is also loving too hard or not at all. Depression is not a constant feeling of sadness, depression can be hidden in happiness. Your depression is valid even if people say it is not just because you smile.
I do not even want to be in a relationship that might not even last. I want to wait for the one that will be meaningful. The one where I feel so strongly about the other person that all my issues with relationships suddenly disappear. The relationship where I can see a real future. But I am not going to try and find that person right now. I am not in a hurry. I am not going to spend all my time and energy trying to find another person; I do not need a significant other right now. I could give you a hundred different reasons as to why I should not be in a relationship right now. Every single one of those reasons would be valid, trust me. But honestly, at the end of the day, the only reason why it really matters is this: I should not be in a relationship right now because I do not want to be in one right now. I would much rather make use of this free time I have right now by focusing on myself. I want to put my education and career first. I want to be with my friends and family. I am going to find a way to succeed in life. I am going to learn to be a better person, and I am going to get my life together before I start looking for someone to share it with. I have a whole world to explore. I have so many new people to meet, so many new places to visit, and so many new memories to make. I genuinely feel that if I were to get into a relationship right now I would feel stifled. I would not be able to branch out as much as I could when I am single. So here’s to all the people that want to be single right now: Do not let anyone stop you. Do not let anyone tell you what to do. You are the best judge when it comes to what you are and are not ready for, and no one else is allowed to get in the way of those decisions. Put yourself first. Be selfish. If you want a relationship, go out there and make it happen; but if you do not, then do not let society pressure you into it. Step outside, see the world, and enjoy the beauty of life. If and when you do decide you want a relationship, then go for it.
I am done wondering if he will call or not. I no longer wish it was him when the phone rings. I am done waiting for his text, I am done waiting for his apology, and I am done waiting for him to show me that he still cares. I am done waiting for him. I am done looking at his pictures and missing him, I no longer feel the urge to be wherever he is and I no longer wait for the moment him and I run into each other so we can give “us” another chance. I am done asking God to bring us back together. I am done trying to remember him. I am done wasting my thoughts on “what if’s” and “maybe’s.” I am done thinking that it is his college, that it is his family, or bad timing. It is him. I am done wasting time thinking it is me. It is definitely him. You do not treat someone so kindly to be so cruel to them. You do not share personal secrets and stories just to act like strangers at the end. You do not look at someone like you love them when you do not feel a thing. You do not lie to someone that was nothing but honest with you. I am done trying to think what went wrong and what could have been done to make it right. People like him want the chase, the challenge, the games, and the constant confusion because he wants what he can not have. But people like me are over it, people like me grew up along time ago, and people like me do not use other people for reassurance. They are already self-assured. I am done with his commitment issue. I am done catering to his insecurities. I am done thinking he is better than me.
Have you ever really thought about why people want money? People want money so they can buy things they like. Why do people buy things they like? It brings them a sense of joy and happiness. Money is what controls everything and everyone’s lives. Find what brings you happiness without the use of it being money-minded. Money is a stratagem to control our lives. It is much simpler, find what brings you happiness without money being such a big factor. Focus on what you love doing instead of being trapped with the idea of not having money so you can not be happy.