You Have Never Been Mine Even When I Wanted You to be So Badly…

In time I have come to accept what my heart does not want to- that you have never been mine even when I wanted you to be so badly. I have accepted that wanting things does not mean that you will get them. And loving people does not mean they will love you back. I loved you with all I had. I loved you with all I was. I gave everything I could in hopes it would be enough. But all you will ever be is a part of a list of dreams forgotten and never achieved. Because that is all you ever were- a dream. You were a fixation of what I wanted you to be. But I did not accept you for who you were- who we were. I think what makes it so hard is the fact that I would have been so good to you. If you had let me, I would have loved you. If you asked me to turn around I would be the first one running. But I know I will walk away and you will not say a thing to stop me. Because all we are is a dream forgotten. And in the midst of ordinary days, the thoughts of one another will run through our minds at least for only a moment before disappearing. Just as I will. It will be then we move on. Because we were never supposed to meet. I was never supposed to find you. I was suppose to simple hope you were out there and hope for something more within the eyes of every stranger. But now I look at them and it is you I want to find. Because even when I am worlds away I never ever gave up on you, I just gave up hoping you would feel the same way.

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