Sometimes, Relationships Suck

Sometimes, it sucks to be in a relationship with the love of your life. Anyone who refuses to admit that is either a fool, or a liar. The truth is, you will not always feel warm and fuzzy towards your significant other. Life does not work that way; it is not perfect. Sometimes, you will collapse under the pressure of your job and act like a total asshole and the tension will persist until you get a good night’s sleep and find it within yourself to apologize for your repulsive behavior. Occasionally, you will hurt each other on purpose, and the sting of nastiness or betrayal will be so painful that you will question why you are doing this to yourself, why you have made yourself vulnerable to another human and thus subjected yourself to such agony. It is hard to find someone you are capable of imagining forever with, and even harder to actually do the forever part year by year, month by month, day by day, and second by second. Forever means never giving up on someone who is bound to drive you nuts sometimes. Forever means forgiving someone again and again and then again for actions or words that make you recoil with hurt and frustration. Forever means squinting to look past the things you can not stand in another human and challenging yourself to remember why you love them so damn much. Forever means digging inside yourself regularly and finding the courage to become a better person. Forever means you never get to stop growing, as an individual or as a couple. Because the second you turn your back on growth, on the sheer will and work it takes to evolve, as people and as partners; your relationship will start to erode. So what separates the couples that make it from those that split? Persistence. And why do the couples that make it persist? Because they have done the math and realized that the upside of being together far outweigh the downside of breaking up. That is the simple truth. In the darkest moments, throughout the most trying times, you have to trust that. It might not sound all that romantic, but the key to lasting love is sticking it out, because you have both determined that it is fucking worth it.

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