I Hated Being Perceived as Weak

I hated being perceived as weak.  I hated someone seeing me vulnerable. I hated that I had cried. But then I realized, being vulnerable made me human. Crying was natural. And weak was the last word anyone would ever use to describe me. So to you I say to the same person who feels guilty or bad for maybe a breakdown or two you are not weak. Do you ever just get that feeling like you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders? And you honestly think like one more thing happens  you are going to crack. Then all of a sudden you do. Like me, you might be a perfectionist. You care a lot about what people think of you. And you try so hard to hold it together. Sometimes you just cannot. Something happens and that is it. It hits you like a wave that knocks you off of your feet and the next thing you know you are drowning in your tears reaching for anything to keep you afloat. Every once and awhile someone does save you. But you are never been one who needs saving. You have never been someone who had to rely on others so you feel a sense of guilt for not being able to handle this alone. Do not feel guilty for needing someone sometimes. We all do. Breakdowns remind us of who we are at our worst, but they also give us a chance to see who accepts us at the points when we are not ourselves. It gives us a chance to have someone tell us, this does not even compare to who you are at your best. Yeah some people will look the other way. But every once and awhile someone will rise to the occasion and be the rock you need in your life. They will dry your tears not judging you. They will tell you you are pretty when you feel anything but pretty. Falling gives you someone a chance to pick you up and dust you off and they are the voice reminding you to try again that you are better than this. Because you are. You might look at yourself as weak but I just think you have spent way too much time being strong and that is something to be proud of.

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