3.3.15 journal

It’s okay to break. It’s okay to fall. It’s okay to cry. How can you hold it all in when all you had with someone disaapears so suddenly? They left but the memories stayed with you. It is hard, it really is. Especially when you’ve given them everything and they don’t put any effort in to make it work. Gosh it hurts. You can’t help but think about all the what ifs and what you could’ve done differently. But don’t. You can’t learn if bad things like this don’t happen. You can’t sop thinking about how you both started off happy and loved each other and now! You can’t even have a straight conversation. You’re just strangers. But ghee is a reason why everything happens. You’re going to find out why in the furtive and you’re going to thank him for letting you go. But maybe it’s just for now. All of this is normal. It’s life. It’s hard to meet the right person in your first, second, or even third try. You meet people and lose people and some are going to stay in your life but some people change. You learn from all of it and it only gets better from here on out as long as you keep moving forward. So let it all out and let all the tears and all the memories leave. Leave the past behind where it belongs. It is time to move on and become the better person you deserve to be. You don’t need your happiness to be depenant on anyone, it never had before. Non of this is important later on in life. Love yourself fore someone else. Remember, it’s just memories you miss and there are 7 billion people on the planet, don’t get hung up on any one person. It’s not worth it anymore.

Dear God, 

I can’t see the future but you can. I have some doubts, but I am sure your ways are better than mine. I trust you with my whole heart and if it is in your will for him and I to be together it will happen. 

Amen. 

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