Losing You was not Really a Loss

After several long months (almost a year), I realized that losing you was not really a loss. Losing you made sense. Losing you was inevitable. I lost you because I never really had you. You were never really mine, you were always searching for something away from me, you were always thinking of someone else when you were with me. I lost you because I would have lost who I was if I held onto you. I lost you to find myself. See, I learned that it is better to lose some people than to hold on to the hope of them coming back, because a person who does not want to lose you, will never let you slip away. But you did not fight. You did not try. And in turn, you made my decision for me. You made it easier for me to think of losing you as another way to find myself- another way to save myself. And for the first time, you made me realize that not every person you lose is a loss and that losing can sometimes be winning. For the first time, you made me realize that losing someone is sometimes the only way to love yourself. For the first time, you made me realize there is so much more to be found in losing someone who was never meant to stay. Losing you was hard, but keeping you was harder. Losing you was a lesson but not a loss. Losing you was my favorite win.

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