Everything You Couldn’t Be

I’ll benfor myself, everything you couldn’t be. I’ll wake up and tell myself that I have a purpose. I’ll give myself pep talks when I’m feeling down. I’ll take myself on dates and get my favorite food. I’ll make sure to listen to my thoughts. I’ll take care of myself. I won’t neglect anything that has to do with my heart. Because the truth is there is nothing you could have done for me that I couldn’t have done for myself, but I wanted you to make me feel less alone, to make me feel like there was someone out there that cared as much as I did. And I think that’s the most important lesson you learn when you fall for the wrong person; that you could be everything you want to yourself if you really had to and that sometimes you’re the only person you can really count on. You’re the only person that’s not going to leave you and the love you give yourself is all that really matters. So this is my vow to myself— I promise I’ll always be there for me, I promise to be kinder to myself when I start doubting my existence, I promise to be aware of my thoughts and feelings and cater to them. And I promise as long as I live, I’ll always love myself, even when it’s hard, even when I’m being difficult, even when I’m not perfect, and even if no one else loves me. I’ll never give up on myself. I’ll always be proud of myself and the battles that I have fought. I’ll be my forever and I’ll be there for myself through thick and thin. I finally realized that what I had been looking for was already in me, it just took me you not seeing it for me to see it. 

Relationships Lately

I have been holding on to a relationship that’s not quite there. To a commitment that isn’t. To a person who’s not all in. We should know better than to settle for someone who makes us question our value. No one should ever be able to have that kind of power over you. But the sad thing about these kinds of people are they never come as evil. They would come as someone really sweet and caring. They tend to show interest in everything that you do. Funny how one can be so interested and yet not really invested. You see? There’s a difference between someone who tells you they miss you and someone who actually does something about it. There’s a thin line between one who finds time for you and one who makes time for you. There’s an unspoken rule about someone who’s invested making you as a priority rather than someone who just does the things that are convenient for him. These are the things that took me a few heartbreaks to realize. We all need to realize that being put first is not being demanding. It just comes with knowing your worth. So now, I guess the right question should be, “what am I to myself?” then, the answer becomes clear. Im worth more than “I’ll try.” I deserve more than an “I miss you” text. I am more than just potential. Im worth more than just an almost. You need to want me in your life enough to actually do something to make sure I’m there. Until then, I’m perfectly fine being without someone who doesn’t see the keeper that I am.

17 Quotes to Live by in 2017

  1. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
  2. You are not the mistakes you have made. Remember, people with the worst pasts end up creating the best futures
  3. Now is the new later.
  4. Remember, people with the worst pasts end up creating the best futures.
  5. If you can’t stop thinking about it don’t stop working toward it.
  6. In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growths or step back into safety.
  7. Your life unfolds in proportion to your courage.
  8. When someone does something wrong, don’t forget about all of the things they have done right.
  9. You love yourself the love that you give so freely to other people.
  10. The most revolutionary thing you can do is stop explaining yourself.
  11. Your mistakes should guide you, not define you.
  12. You don’t have to be perfect to inspire others. Let others be inspired by how you deal with your imperfections.
  13. Nobody can go back and start a new beginning but anyone can start today and pick a new ending.
  14. Ditch the dream and be a doer.
  15. When you focus on problems you create more problems. When you focus on possibility you create more opportunity.
  16. You cannot build a reputation on what you intend to do.
  17. Everything you need is already within you.

 

*Quotes from MelRobins.com

10 Daily Reminders

  1. It’s okay not to be okay. Have a hot drink and go to bed.
  2. Stop expecting the worst. It’s possible to find positivity in even the worst situation.
  3. If someone makes a joke that you don’t find funny, you dont have to laugh. You don’t have to react at all.
  4. If someone makes a joke that you find offensive, you can let them know.
  5. Speaking your mind WON’T make people like you less. Being mean or rude WILL.
  6. A little kindness goes a long way. Its free, and you’ll make a lot more friends too.
  7. Kindness towards yourself also counts. Don’t forget that.
  8. Don’t go to bed angry. That applies to family, friends, and anyone else who matters enough to make you angry.
  9. It applies to you too. Make peace with yourself before you go to bed.
  10. No matter how you feel today, tomorrow will be a different story. Strap yourself in and hold on tight. You’ll get where you want to be soon.

What Self Love Actually Is

Self love isn’t just all about scented candles and bubble baths, green tea and romance novels, warm blankets and hot fudge. Self love is hard sometimes, doing the dirty dishes that have been in the sink for two weeks, pushing yourself to go out on a run after laying in bed for four days, cooking yourself a healthy meal after living off noodles for months. Self love is all of this: it is about loving yourself, and forgiving yourself, cutting out toxic people, and embracing who you are. Self love isn’t always pretty, it is exhausting sometimes, but if you can’t love yourself, no one can do it for you.

Finding Love

Maybe you’ll find love at 17, when you’re young and just starting in life. Maybe you’ll find love at 25, when you have a job and a house, but haven’t quite figured yourself out. Maybe you’ll find love at 40, when you feel like you’re old but not quite burnt out. Maybe you’ll find love at 60, when you’ve given up completely on love, and you think it gave up on you. Or maybe, maybe you’ll find love at 80, and maybe there won’t be much left of life, but love is always love, and the time won’t matter, because when you’re with that person, you’ll feel infinite. Love is timeless, and it takes awhile to find.

Two Things to Never Forget

  1. If you fucked up today, that’s okay. You’re still smart, good, and people still love you.
  2. If you’re in a dark place today, that’s okay. Even if you feel like you can’t get out of bed, and all you can do is breathe, that’s okay. You breathe, take the time you need, and we’ll be here when you are ready.

Everyday is a battle. On some. You demolish whatever’s ahead of you. On others, you just have to hang on for dear life. Either way, you are a fighter. Don’t forget that.