To the person needing to hear this, I am here for you, I understand you, and I care about you.
I wish there was a more elegant way to put it. I wish there was something I could say that would magically mend your broken heart. Something instant. Something miraculous. The truth is, there’s not. You can’t make someone love you. And it SUCKS. It hurts and is confusing. It feels like your emotions are trying to destroy you. You are not in charge of how someone feels. You can’t convince someone to care. You can’t persuade them to look at you the way you look at them. You aren’t responsible for proving how lovable you are or how worthy you are. All you can do is focus on yourself. Give yourself time. Letting go is never easy, but sometimes it’s the only option. What are you waiting for? For someone to change their mind? For something unrequited to become requited? Stop. Stop wishing. Stop hoping. Stop sitting around waiting. Someone will come along and you won’t have to beg them to see you. Someone will meet you and all your wonderful attributes will be apparent. Someone who won’t be able to imagine a life without you. Someone who gives you the love you’ve been dispiriting aching for. For now, give yourself permission to move on. You can make someone love you back. Love yourself instead.
Sometimes you have to save yourself. You have to mend your broken heart. You have to be the person who decides to change their own story and rewrites a new one. Sometimes you need to give yourself the wake up call you need when you’re lost. You have to be the one who searches inside and outside for the truth, for your passion, for where you belong and what kind of life you want to live. You shouldn’t wait for an opportunity to knock on your door or for someone to save your life. Sometimes you have to break your own heart with the truth instead of living a lie. You have to leave certain people behind, confront those who wronged you in the past and walk away from the people you once loved. You have to knock some sense into yourself and force yourself to move on, to stop waiting, to stop wondering, you deserve better, that you shouldn’t settle and that you should wait for a love that matches the one you’re willing to give. Sometimes you have to get comfortable with being alone. Because at the end of the day, no one knows who you really are when all your masks fall off, no one sees what you see, no one feels what you feel and no one knows what truly keeps you up at night. You have to be your own person, you have to hold your own hand because you won’t always be lucky enough to find someone who understands your journey or stands by you until you make it. You won’t always find people willing to climb a certain mountain with you. Sometimes you have to climb alone– it’s exhausting, tiring, and draining. But once you get to the top, everything will look so small. Everything will make sense. You’ll be glad you made it, even if you’re the only one enjoying the view.
I’ll be for myself, everything you couldn’t be. I’ll wake up and tell myself that I have a purpose. I’ll give myself pep talks when I’m feeling down. I’ll take myself on dates and get my favorite food. I’ll make sure to listen to my thoughts. I’ll take care of myself. I won’t neglect anything that has to do with my heart. Because the truth is there is nothing you could have done for me that I couldn’t have done for myself, but I wanted you to make me feel less alone, to make me feel like there was someone out there that cared as much as I did. And I think that’s the most important lesson you learn when you fall for the wrong person; that you could be everything you want to yourself if you really had to and that sometimes you’re the only person you can really count on. You’re the only person that’s not going to leave you and the love you give yourself is all that really matters. So this is my vow to myself— I promise I’ll always be there for me, I promise to be kinder to myself when I start doubting my existence, I promise to be aware of my thoughts and feelings and cater to them. And I promise as long as I live, I’ll always love myself, even when it’s hard, even when I’m being difficult, even when I’m not perfect, and even if no one else loves me. I’ll never give up on myself. I’ll always be proud of myself and the battles that I have fought. I’ll be my forever and I’ll be there for myself through thick and thin. I finally realized that what I had been looking for was already in me, it just took me you not seeing it for me to see it.
I have been holding on to a relationship that’s not quite there. To a commitment that isn’t. To a person who’s not all in. We should know better than to settle for someone who makes us question our value. No one should ever be able to have that kind of power over you. But the sad thing about these kinds of people are they never come as evil. They would come as someone really sweet and caring. They tend to show interest in everything that you do. Funny how one can be so interested and yet not really invested. You see? There’s a difference between someone who tells you they miss you and someone who actually does something about it. There’s a thin line between one who finds time for you and one who makes time for you. There’s an unspoken rule about someone who’s invested making you as a priority rather than someone who just does the things that are convenient for him. These are the things that took me a few heartbreaks to realize. We all need to realize that being put first is not being demanding. It just comes with knowing your worth. So now, I guess the right question should be, “what am I to myself?” then, the answer becomes clear. Im worth more than “I’ll try.” I deserve more than an “I miss you” text. I am more than just potential. Im worth more than just an almost. You need to want me in your life enough to actually do something to make sure I’m there. Until then, I’m perfectly fine being without someone who doesn’t see the keeper that I am.
- Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
- You are not the mistakes you have made. Remember, people with the worst pasts end up creating the best futures
- Now is the new later.
- Remember, people with the worst pasts end up creating the best futures.
- If you can’t stop thinking about it don’t stop working toward it.
- In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growths or step back into safety.
- Your life unfolds in proportion to your courage.
- When someone does something wrong, don’t forget about all of the things they have done right.
- You love yourself the love that you give so freely to other people.
- The most revolutionary thing you can do is stop explaining yourself.
- Your mistakes should guide you, not define you.
- You don’t have to be perfect to inspire others. Let others be inspired by how you deal with your imperfections.
- Nobody can go back and start a new beginning but anyone can start today and pick a new ending.
- Ditch the dream and be a doer.
- When you focus on problems you create more problems. When you focus on possibility you create more opportunity.
- You cannot build a reputation on what you intend to do.
- Everything you need is already within you.
*Quotes from MelRobins.com
Self love isn’t just all about scented candles and bubble baths, green tea and romance novels, warm blankets and hot fudge. Self love is hard sometimes, doing the dirty dishes that have been in the sink for two weeks, pushing yourself to go out on a run after laying in bed for four days, cooking yourself a healthy meal after living off noodles for months. Self love is all of this: it is about loving yourself, and forgiving yourself, cutting out toxic people, and embracing who you are. Self love isn’t always pretty, it is exhausting sometimes, but if you can’t love yourself, no one can do it for you.